Poop-a-pa-looza

A couple of weeks ago Owen was going for some kind of record for most poops in a day. It was making Mom and Dad grouchy (lots of poopy diapers) and giving Owen a sore red tush. My usual remedy to this is some naked time. Fresh air seems to have magical healing properties on diaper rashes.

Some of you may have already spotted the problem here...Lots of pooping + no diaper= craptacular idea.

Sure enough, Ben was following Owen around (on the hardwood, THANK GOD!), when I hear "Ugh Ugh Ugh! Owen pooped on the floor!" Sure enough, the boy had left a big steaming pile. We both ran around shrieking in disgust for a second and then got a paper towel and some kind of massive disinfectant to clean it up. Somehow, neither of us thought to corral the boy. Not 1 minute after we (who am I kidding? *I*) finished cleaning up pile #1, Owen grunts and leaves piles #2. More shrieking and cleaning ensues, and once again, nobody thinks "hey, maybe we should put a diaper on him!" I think we both thought he had already pooped 6x that day, he must be done, right? Just as it occurs to me that he might not be done and I go to grab him, Owen runs to the backdoor and poops AGAIN!

Can we really be that dumb?

As bad as that was, today takes the cake.

He dozed off in the car on the way home from the zoo, so I put him straight to bed when we got home. This doesn't always work, and sure enough, I heard him whining a few minutes later. I ignored him for a while, hoping he'd go to sleep, but eventually went up to start our nap routine from scratch. When I got in the room, I smelled poop so figured he needed a change to go back to sleep. I picked him up, carried him to the changing table and laid him down before I realized, wait a minute....

My son's not wearing a diaper! The little turd had somehow crapped his pants and removed one of the velcro tabs from his diaper and stepped out of it. He threw the stinky diaper on the floor (which THANK GOD STILL CONTAINED MOST OF THE POOP!) There was poop on my shirt, on my arm, all over him, on the crib sheets, on my SIDS safe breatheable mesh bumper, on the floor.

I cleaned all of us and the room up, read him 2 short stories and am now sitting on the couch in shock. I think I'll go make myself a drink.