Blog for thought

I've started reading this woman's blog, and it's so amazing. I've laughed, cried, ordered books and DVDs from amazon, and felt like I meant someone who GETS IT! What it's like to have a speech delayed child, that is. Here's a taste:

"I wonder when we'll stop celebrating every word. When we'll just nod and shrug and go on with our meal instead of pumping our fists in the air and laughing, like holy crap, did you just hear that? I wonder when I'll move him out of the "speech-delayed, present tense" and into the "speech-delayed, past tense, can you believe this kid used to ever not talk?", and when I'll stop flinching when strangers ask him questions he can't answer (What's your name? How old are you? You must be talkin' up a storm these days, huh?) and when family members ask me what sign he's making for the millionth time.

He's catching up, bit by bit and word by word. I feel like he's the least speech-delayed kid in early intervention -- like we already have no business being there anymore, OT issues aside -- but I still can't quite shake the worry that he's still not quite where he "should" be. Even though I honestly don't even know where, exactly, that is.

Four months ago, before the "diagnosis" and signing and speech therapy, he had five words, maybe six. Today, as of right now, including "hurt" which he just said for the first time five minutes ago, he has 71. I know that because I've written each and every one down. I wonder when I'll stop doing that too, like I did with the list of signs when I realized that he basically knew every sign on every DVD.

I'm ready to let go of the labels and the worry. I'm even ready to let go of the lists.

But I'm not ready to stop the celebrating."

I thought of the list of signs and sounds we have on the fridge that I check off and add to, and I realized I'm just not there yet. I hope that every sound is really a word and can't stop thinking about the day when he'll just talk. I want to SMACK every person who says "oh, someday you'll wish he never learned to talk." I wish I knew what to say to the lady at the grocery store who asks Owen what his name is.

Anyway, it's good. If you want a glimpse into the thoughts in my head, check it out.

http://www.amalah.com/amalah/speech_delays/index.html

This is just the index of speech delay entries. I read it from the bottom up (earliest to most recent post), and the Sept. 17, 2007 entry was really helpful to me.